The Gaming on a Budget stuff over on the HoP is one of my most favorite blog series of all time. Its chock full of great tips (some are a surprise) , it increases out traffic and Dethtron is one of the funniest writers out there. Its the pinnacle of the infotainment arts. Get your lips offa Dethtron's e-peen, Lauby!
Plus, I get to write for it as well from time to time. Always a bonus when you get to put all those research skills to use for something you actually enjoy.
Anywho, my last post for the series got me thinking about all kinds of ways that you can actually save money by spending money up front - pointing out false economies and the like. There's a post on airbrush purchasing floating around my brain and there's a post out there about the pitfalls of ebay that I want to rip off (incidentally: Brent, add a goddamn search function to your blog!).
Which brings us to my recent purchase of a White Dwarf issue and my issues with White Dwarf. Lame, dude. Lame.
Now I know taking a shit on the current state of White Dwarf is about the easiest thing to do... but what can I say, nostalgia gets the better of me from time to time and the reality of the situation seems to always surprises me.
Basically, I picked up the most recent issue because it had a bunch of stuff in it that seemed relevant to my interests at the time and as a precursor to maybe getting a subscription again ( I do love those masterclasses). The whole thing was crap - perhaps the single most worthless issue I own. But it did save me $75 as it was a reminder on why I didn't resubscribe last year. Like I said - spend money to save money.
Here's the feature by feature breakdown:
11 pages of new releases: This is why you have a website! Plus, this is like the first of 4 places in the issue where the same damn kits are pimped. The reason other magazine have ads in them is to defray the cost of printing. By running your own ads you are actually costing yourselves money. Good job. ATTN Business people: feel free to correct me and then mock me
The Masters of Titan: Some interviews with the model designers and Matt Ward about the new codex. Kinda cool, actually. But basically a puff piece. Surprise! Though it's not like I expected any hard hitting questions from conversations between people who all work at the same damn place.
Green Invasion: A shitty fluff article with the following suggestions for themed armies:Interviewer: Hello Fellow GW employee!Person being interviewed: Right back at you!Interviewer: Those Grey Knights sure are bad ass and cool.Person being interviewed: they sure are!
Interviewer: That's all for today, folks!
- things you had already figured out from the book
- themes entirely dependent on running a specific scenario
- themes entirely dependent on terrible house rules
A New Alliance: LotR stuff. For this to be useful to you must:
- actually play this game
- be entirely unclear on the simple rules for allies as outlined in the rule books
- have never seen any of the movies or read any of the books
- completely and utterly lack imagination
A Light in the Grim Darkness: GW to Daemone players: fuck you. Ah, the 'wonderful' battle report between the new Grey Knights and some Daemons. One one hand, I like the fact that you get to see the models in cool scenes and you get to see some of the GW employees who aren't the game designers. On the other hand, everything that makes medical waste seem pleasant by comparison.
The quote of the article:"When preparing to fight an army that is designed on every conceivable level to kill yours, you certainly have to think long and hard before making any decisions."
The Daemon player then goes on to ignore his own advice and make the worst Daemon army possible. He even goes so far as to buy his troops units in multiples of the sacred numbers. Including the changeling was about his only good choice.
Here's a list of everything else that's awful:
- List tailoring on a previously unseen level on the part of the Grey Knight player. Sanctuary on the Librarian? Fuck you, buddy.
- A battle missions scenario that makes everyone stubborn. So we can add mission tailoring to the list as well since Daemons are already fearless and pretty much have to fight in hand to hand.
- Some of the worst play decisions I think I've ever had explained to me. The worst being the Daemon player's - a conscious decision to feed almost a quarter of his army to the dreadknight one unit at a time and to go well out of his way to allow as in: on purpose Draigo to get into hand to hand with Fateweaver.
- To be fair, the GK player thought it might be smart to disembark a 10 man purifier squad directly in front of a functional Soul Grinder.
Standard Bearer: I've always said that JJ's been around the block too many times to be the idiot people think he is and I find that this comes out in the series Idiot? No. Out of touch? Yes. It's always interesting (even if I disagree with it) and its usually the best written thing in the magazine.
'Eavy Metal - Grey Knights: Some cool close ups of the new models. Plus a bunch of painting ideas and the like. Really makes the first 11 pages of adds seem even more worthless.
Citadel Hall of Fame: Nothing like another meeting report from GW's Mutual Appreciation and Free Hand Jobs Society.
Modelling Workshop - Grey Knights: If you've ever had problems following simple instructions or using your imagination to actually make use of all the parts that come with a stock kit then here ya go. A real missed opportunity to promote some kits outside the GK range.
Army Workshop - Flesh Tearers: This was actually the big driver for me spending the 9 bux. I've always secretly loved the Flesh Tearers and I was hoping to get a good highlighting recipe for the red. Instead I got bitter disappointment. The article was little more than a detailed description from two yokels on how you too can waste $300 on one of the worst army lists I've seen since the battle report. Zing!
Actually, there was a silver lining here - I learned exactly how stupid the ancient metal chapter pads from GW look on the modern kits.
All That Crap in the Back: That nobody reads.
So there we are. Another impotent rant against the worthlessness of a magazine we already know is worthless .