My Idea for a TV Show

For all three of you who still play Warhammer Fantasy, you know that GW just released the latest Vampire Counts book and a whole bunch of new models.  For the rest of you, consider yourselves knowledge slapped!

There's the neat-o Coven Throne, a much needed Black Knight update and even a strangely attractive Isabella Von Carstein.

But all of that is stupid and lame because Gw also released a new Krell. And he is about as bad-ass as a model can legally get.  In Canada, he comes with a government warning about eye damage in young children.  In China, he is banned as a threat to the communist party.  To be safe, you should probably only take him in an army list if you plan on playing in international waters.

Admittedly, I'm not going to be starting a Fantasy army any time soon.  Neither is most of the world's population.  Never the less, the word needs to get out and I have the perfect vehicle for that message!

New Year, New Plan

Hello and welcome to 2012 at Laubersheimer Industries.  I've long since dropped (about a day before my first post) the premise that this blog was going to be written in the style of psuedo-corporate press releases, so there's not going to be any clever "company status report and money making progress fiscal year briefing" thing.  Which is a damn shame because there's a great tie in opportunity with GW's half year report being released recently.

On the other hand, by not forcing the style, I can get away with 49 word run-on sentences (see above).  Hell, that probably qualifies me to write for Forgeworld so long as I own a good thesaurus as well(1).

Thank god their models aren't made out of words.

Which brings me to the subject of the new year and the sundry resolutions I have made and want to share with you.

According to the slander and libel against the ancient Mayans and their crazy calender, 2012 is going to be the LITERAL END OF THE WORLD.  You likely already know this and may be surprised that I bring it up.  But hey, I'm already balls deep in a hackneyed post about new year's resolutions, so it's a little late for dinner and tickets to the opera.  Mostly I just want to point out that, according to actual reality, 2012 is kind of a big deal (in a good way) for the Mayans and we should all be celebrating(2).

While I'm on the subject, the Roman numerals for this decade and the last jut haven't been all that great since MCM became MM.  13 years ago, it was still fun to write out Roman numerals. MCMXCVIII.  Awesome!  MMXII.  Not awesome.

News Interlude

A little bit more of a delay than I wanted between this post and the last.  But I had a nasty little illness that knocked me off my feet for most of the week in which I planned on writing.  I guess that's what a sinus infection will do for ya.  Incidentally, did you know that sinus infection can be contagious?  So if, say, you Girlfriend has a sinus infection and she tells you it's not contagious, she's probably wrong - and you should stay the hell away from the business end of her plague furnace of a nose.

"Yeah, man.  It's completely safe to touch me."

On the other hand, I got some time to catch up with current events, which wasn't all that great since the two big stories for me ranged from extremely fucking terrible to moderately shitty.

• The Penn State tragedy sure was fun?  I don't know about you guys but I totally get why FOOTBALL was placed in front of child safety. This one is especially relevant to me since I have a good friend at ground zero in a town he describes as having a "low level of humanity".  That's not a pro-Paterno statement, fyi.  Despite being from something awful, this is the most accurate timeline I've found. 

• It turns out that Frank Miller is not just a bigot.  No, no.  It turns out that he is a well rounded and complete piece of shit. 

Man, that was depressing.   Good thing I chopped this off of the bat rep I was planning on doing.  Score one for not muddying the message!  But minus one for a non-hobby post on a hobby blog.  Stupid zero sum games.
 

Throw Away Post - Tomb Kings and Metal Miniatures

Tomb Kings
 I was in the local game store the other day grabbing some paints I needed when I espied the stores advance copy of the new Tomb Kings book.

I didn't spend much time reading it other than to check up on a couple of irritations from the Orcs and Goblins book.

Specifically, I was interested to see whether or not they had ruined the magic items section again and whether or not page references were incldued as part of the army list entries.

It was the same lack of important reference numbers and the same overcosted and underpowered magic item section.  I'll reserve full doom and gloom mode until the third book (scientific method ftw) for the edition comes out - but it looks like I made the right choice by not investing in Fantasy a few months ago.

Metal Miniatures
This one is just cheesing me off.  In a lot of ways actually....

First, everyone is reading too much into what's going on.  GW are not discontinuing production of metal miniatures.  They are simply not allowing the independent stores to order them.  That's it.  Full stop.  Anything else is doom and gloom.  I'm not sure why people think that not being able to buy a Varghulf at the Warstore anymore is tantamount to ALL metal miniatures disappearing.  Producing enough models to create stocking levels is expensive.  Especially given the cost of the bulk materials.  GW are just plain not doing this anymore.


Further, the process of making plastic versions of the special characters would be exorbitantly expensive and horrible unprofitable. It aint gonna happen and your metal models ain't gonna dissappear.  Making molds for plastic miniatures is quite expensive.  It's not just a matter of pouring some damn rubber over a master.  Auto CAD and frickin' lasers are involved in order to craft a steel mold.  It ain't cheap.  That's why when it comes to new release time, all the units are in plastic and the goofball stuff is in metal - its all about making the investment back on things that can be expected to sell more units. 

Really though, think about it - GW has far, far too many models that only appear in metal.  Complete discontinuation would pretty much kill a ton of armies off - most of them for Fantasy (an already shaky area).  Though I do expect GW to move armies with predominately metal ranges closer to the front of the update line.

Thirdly, GW may want to move to resin (unlikely given the labor required), but you can't just repurpose the old molds.  A lot of people seem to be operating under the assumption that since the resin and white metal casting processes are so 'similar' you can just pour some resin into the existing mold and you're good to go.  Flat wrong.  

I guess the processes are similar in that your pouring a liquid into a mold.  But here's the deal:  there are a number of quite massive differences in material properties that come into play.  White metal casting involves injecting molten fucking metal into a spinning mold.  That's just a tad different than the two part resin + wating typically used in miniature making. 

Plus, The molds for metal models are typically made out of vulcanized rubber to deal with the temperatures and to add durability for repeated use.  The molds themselves would actually destroy resin casts during the demoldong process. 

Oh, and the labor intensity of resin casting would still cause a model to cost an arm and a leg.

So yeah, metal models are just getting harder to get and resin is not coming. 

Gaming on a Budget: Wasting Money to Save Money

Holy Crap!  Its been two weeks since I last posted.  So here's something kinda dumb.

The Gaming on a Budget stuff over on the HoP is one of my most favorite blog series of all time.  Its chock full of great tips (some are a surprise) , it increases out traffic and Dethtron is one of the funniest writers out there.  Its the pinnacle of the infotainment arts.  Get your lips offa Dethtron's e-peen, Lauby! 

Plus, I get to write for it as well from time to time. Always a bonus when you get to put all those research skills to use for something you actually enjoy.

Anywho, my last post for the series got me thinking about all kinds of ways that you can actually save money by spending money up front - pointing out false economies and the like.  There's a post on airbrush purchasing floating around my brain and there's a post out there about the pitfalls of ebay that I want to rip off (incidentally:  Brent, add a goddamn search function to your blog!).

Which brings us to my recent purchase of a White Dwarf issue and my issues with White Dwarf.  Lame, dude.  Lame.

Now I know taking a shit on the current state of White Dwarf is about the easiest thing to do... but what can I say, nostalgia gets the better of me from time to time and the reality of the situation seems to always surprises me. 

Basically, I picked up the most recent issue because it had a bunch of stuff in it that seemed relevant to my interests at the time and as a precursor to maybe getting a subscription again ( I do love those masterclasses).  The whole thing was crap - perhaps the single most worthless issue I own.  But it did save me $75 as it was a reminder on why I didn't resubscribe last year. Like I said - spend money to save money.

Tyberos the Red Wake - Day 15

Nothing to magical about yesterday's progress - just the highlighting on the remaining arm, some minor corrections on the body and some normalization on the highlighting.

I've had kind of a rough day today - not a bad day, just tiring.  I'm also into the midpoint of my week where my schedule gets shitty.  I think it's entirely likely that I'll take a day off from Tyberos.  I've got a supplemental planned so it wont be a day without Lauby.

Which is just as well, those Japanese pikemen that have been amassing near my boarder aren't going to strategically bomb themselves. God, Civ V is fun.

Tyberos te Red Wake - Supplemental #1

In the continuing saga of my mad quest to improve the worsening situation in Libya by painting a Tyberos miniature, I embarked on a side quest.

One of the great joys of painting little plastic/metal/resin mans is that once you're done, you have something to show for all your work.  Which is all good and well for face to face interaction.  But if you're gonna blog about it then you need to show your work there too.  Otherwise people might think you're a liar or quickly lose interest in baseless claims of skill.

I've been... well... kinda almost completely falling down on that.

Oh, I Dunno... War Stuff, I Guess

 Man... It's been a while, huh?   Let's not cheapen the moment with crappy excuses.  I've got a lot of my recent pondering to share.  Lets start smallish yet meaninfully (and hopefully not ponderously):

It's Special  Character Week on the GW Mothership

Now I know most 'sane' people don't cotton to much of what Jervis has to say about the game he designs (oddly enough*).  However, this bit of JJ's brain is actually quite interesting - and causes quite a bit of collateral hilarity with the people who do treat his word as the RAI Gospel of the Church of Fluff.

I Don't Usually Swear In My Post Titles... But Tyberous is Fucking Awesome!!!!!!!!!!!

My friends, a war is being fought against common decency and propriety.  Its been going on for some time and it has to stop.  Our very souls are being preyed upon by the miniature industry and there subversion of our good Christian morals.  Just look at what those vile filth peddlers are are debasing us with...

Underboob - the so-called gateway drug that sucks the naive and unwary ever deeper into the smutty back alleys of society.

Running Your Dreadnoughts Like a Business Part 1: Cost-Benefit Analysis

In between playing Minecraft and looking for the best possible location for my Amy Adams/Isla Fisher fantasy three way, I occasionally think about 40k.  For the last few days, this list from GW (more on this in the future) has been floating near the surface. 

I've always really liked the various flavors of Space Marine.  The aesthetic is pretty great, the rules have been increasingly solid and the latest codices have been absolutely fantastic at creating 3 distinct forces.  Plus, who wouldn't want to push some armored bad-asses around the table? Losers, that's who.

Despite all that, I've never really pulled the trigger on getting myself a marine army - though there have been at least 3 major attempts over the years.  But more than any other army, the collected space marine chapters are the most frequent subject when I get into listmania mode.  There's just so much damn flexibility with the three books.  Even more once it dawns on you that custom chapters can stand in for ANY of the 5 flavors.  Its kinda crazy.

dakkadakkadakkadakkadakkadakkadakka

Each of the 5th ed. marine books has there strengths, but there is one thing they all share in common:  they all have access to the extremely awesome Rifleman Dreadnought... or the Destroid Defender Dreadnought if you want to be, ya know, technical.  Unfortunately, its also one of the two very valuable and very 'not produced by GW proper' models that most often find their way into lists.  The other item being the las-plas Razorback turret.

NOTE TO SELF: TITLE ALL POSTS

NOVA came and went and as far as I could tell, it went well.  Everybody involved seemed to have a good time.  There was no drama at the actual event (though I'm sure this wont stop the peanut gallery from stirring shit up after the fact).  So big props to MVB for creating something fairly unique and pulling off a number of amazing feats in the face of the so-called 'common knowledge' that the other events stand by.

Quickly now:  the coverage on the NOVA open was petty solid and, in particular, the U-stream feed was a nice change of pace from the likes of the random video collages and the various BoK cheating watchdog videos that we're normally subjected to.  However, I think that a bit more thought could and should be put into things.  Or at least, better preparation.

A Worthless Thing Happened On the Way to the Forum

It's no secret that many people in the 40k blogging community are kinda anti-forum. Myself included. Hell, Dethtron has made a career out of it.

I obviously can't speak for the likes of Stelek, Kirby or My Liege Elessar, but I find much of what gets posted to the various big boards out there to be thoroughly useless. Especially once you get into ANYTHING that has to do with tactics and list building. As vaunted as the 'community' and 'open discussion' aspects of forums are, they're often the biggest road blocks to good advice.

[Side note] Seriously, how much of a community can you form from a collection of random and anonymous strangers? In my opinion: not very much of one.

All of that 'community' and 'open discussion' leads to a very common end point of the army list/tactics thread - total uselessness. Too many people talking and too many people allowed to talk.

Essentially, you have a lot of 'experts' with no credentials being allowed to voice their opinions so long as they follow the letter of the rules. As with any event involving people who think they're experts - ego's tend to run into one another. Fights start to emerge, side fights emerge and then the actual idiots get involved. To top it all off, most of the people who want advice or opinions are really just looking for someone to validate their thinking.

It's even worse when someone posts a legitimate question and then no one can be bothered to answer. Or sure, its monumentally important to discuss how awesome Ogryns are but as soon as someone needs genuine help, not even the crickets bother to post.

To bring home my point, and to continue the high I got from my FNIF, I'm going to snowmobile a perfectly normal advice thread. For an added layer of journalistic integrity, I'm going to go back in time and make fun of myself.

Here's a question I asked on the Bolter and Chainsword during the end days of 4th edition 40k and my brief and catastrophic flirtation with the Dark Angels. Click here for the original.My comments are in classic Laubersheimer Industries Boo-berry Blue and my intelligent comments are in luxurious Dethtron Red. There will be far fewer red comments.

MainLauby - So, I'm building and painting my first Dark Angel Tactical Squad (10 man) and, being a noob, I need some advice. Which should have been - quit painting Dark Angels while you're ahead What weapons do I equip the models with?

I've alrady built and painted the sargeant with a chainsword and plasma pistol (now knowing full well I should have equiped a power fist - 20/20 hindsight, drats!). Score 3 for spelling errors and lose 1 for every point wasted on extraneous wargear. Total: -12.

My initial plan was to equip a plasma gun and a heavy bolter (because I had the model). Hoever, are there other, better or more tactically flexable combos? I was thinking maybe a Rocket Launcer and melta. Ah, some re-occurring themes with me before my discovery of YTTH - poor spelling and building things because they look cool rather than because they are good.

Keep in mind that my only heavy wapon choices are the bolter and rockets.

Thanks in advane. God damn, that's some poor spelling. A genuine question on my point, but hard to answer since its not in the context of an army list or anything useful like that. at all.

Isiah - The missile launcher and meltagun are good all-round choices. The meltagun is better than the plasmagun in my opinion as it allows you to assault after firing and doesn't overheat. The ML is a cheap versatile but no-frills weapon that can be used v armour and troops. With this combo you will have a solid take all comers squad. Granted, the lascannon and plasma cannon would be excellent choices but each are very focused on a certain type of target. So maybe bear those in mind for the next Tacs you build. Sadly, this is about as good as the advice gets. What really should have been said is play regular marines instead. Other than that, Isiah here, does a good job of trying to answer an poorly asked question.

Stella Cadente - for first squad........well it depends, what do you want it to do? Good point. And one I had not ever considered. And never did.

for standing back like cowards: pay attention to this choice of words 10 men Lascannon and plasma gun
for running in like heroes: Power fist and Meltagun
for a unit who are mixed about what they are and not good at any of it : power weapon, Heavy bolter and Meltagun

at least thats what I think I think that people who give advice shouldn't be so wishy-washy about it

Chaplain Lucifer - IMHO you should gauge your words more carefully. You are, apparently, easily offended Stand and shoot is a perfectly viable tactic and has nothing of coward of shameful. Why the fuck do you care? Is your membership for the All-Inclusive Super Best Friends Lifestyle Tolerance club up for renewal? Different folks, different strokes, and if for you having 10 guys running forward with a meltagun fits your style, for others, standing and shooting till there is no enemy alive is their style. And this is where the thread starts to become really useless. At this point I haven't learned anything and a stupid fight over semantics has sprung up.

MainLauby - all quibbling aside, I'll think I'll rock the melta and heavy bolter. Thanks for the advice. To this day, I have no idea how I came up with this combo. I'm pretty sure it revolved around how cool I thought the heavy bolter looked. Later on, I waffled back to a plasmagun. I then proceeded to waste a lot of time building and painting this squad only to find out that it sucked within playing two games.

At this point the thread devolves further into some people sniping at each other and then a bunch of stupid shit about how awesome shooting things is. Then there was a brief rules argument and then someone who has no pride in his models told me that yanking off the fully painted sergeant's arms was a good idea. One other person tries to give me actual advice, but fails because it didn't involve quitting the Dark Angels and, instead, convinced me to take a plasmagun with my heavy bolter.

I just don't have it in me to bother snowmobiling the whole thing. Its all pretty stupid and nothing interesting or useful gets talked about. Which is really what this whole blog post is about.

From this terrible advice to my own pathetic army list with an equally pathetic army, I ended up dropping 40k for a year or more.

Fucking forums.

[Edit:] gonna go back and add some pictures later tonight.