Monday, September 20, 2010

Amazing Internet Adventures! Chapter 1: The Junk Planet

In which our hero is reacquainted with his old enemy, Mediocrity, and his nefarious henchmen, Rank Stupidity and Evil Abraham Lincoln.  Lauby is thrown in Mediocrity's labyrinth during the course of his search and barely escapes with his sanity after facing the many horrors contained therein.

Pew pew pew! I'm in spaaaaaaaaace!!

My Daemon army is coming along nicely.  So is my plan to sidestep painting burnout by constantly switching paint schemes.  Generally speaking, only about 6 models will ever have the same color 'recipe' used on them.  This means that I get to spend a whole bunch of time noodling around with my paints.  Which is pretty great.  Experimentation is one of the big draws of painting for me.  Plus, I'll have a very chaotic looking Chaos Daemon army.

So while this plan of mine has been great for keeping me motivated and excited about painting 30 plaguebearers, it has also left me with a new  and rather unique problem.  Namely, that I'm running out of paint schemes!  I figure I've got about enough of my own mojo saved up for about 2/3 of the models in the army.  So I need some ideas to work off of for all the fiends, Khorne dogs and Nurgle doodz who still only appear as bare metal in my mind's eye.

Which is where this becomes a multi-installment adventure series. 

In need of some inspiration and a few eureka moments, I packed a briefcase full of fire and hit the internet.  And was promptly disappointed.  Admittedly, I knew that I would be all over the place looking for ideas, but the first stop was fairly abysmal even by my low expectations.

I went to the Painting and Modeling forum of DakkaDakka.  A place I've normally had good luck in finding actual talent and skill from which to draw ideas.  Deciding against using the search function, I made my way through the first ten pages of that forum and clicked on anything daemon related and a few other things that caught my eye.  An hour later, all I had found was a redoubled hatred of forums.

This about sums up what I found - but don't let that stop you from reading on.
To be fair, much of what was there was unrelated to my search.  Lots of Space Marine threads that weren't relevant and a whole ton of beginner questions.  Actual daemon coverage was so sparse that I actually started clicking on some of the help requests just to see what kind of 'advice' was being given out.  Apparently, anybody with any skill has abandoned dakkadakka and, as a result, Devlan Mud Washes and dry brushing were back as the top tips.

As disappointing as it is, here's what I found:
In short, I found nothing of use to my immediate needs.  Well, that's why there's gonna be a part 2.

------[Bonus Content!]------
I think its time to explain yet another of my pet peeves.  People don't seem to 'get' Slaanesh as a Chaos god.  When people want to Slaaneshify there models/armies, there is this ridiculous tendency to go straight to the naked boobies/lipstick lesbian/fem-dom fantasy portions of their imagination. Which is to say, that it's crude, juvenile and sex obsessed.  The execution also tend to be terrible which doesn't help matters in the least.

I don't usually like to bitch about the fluff since I find that the made up history behind our games is already a cause for enough misery.  But seriously, there's so much more to the pleasure aspects of Slaanesh than some fairly vanilla sexual fantasies.  What ever happened to all the other things you can be addicted to or derive pleasure from?  Like drugs and hurting people?   Those are all part of the fluff as well. Take a look at Lucius the eternal - he's all kinds of into self mutilation.  Something that people can also take pleasure from.  And even if you're gonna go down the sexxy-daemon route - pay attention to some of the other key descriptors for Slaanesh - clawed and androgynous. Hell, lets throw in one-breasted in the mix as well or even some hawt dudes like Sigvald.  There's so much more than the wall-to-wall female underwear models stereotype that people tend to gravitate towards.  Move past the idea of hawt chicks who want to fuck you.  Explore other themes, dammit! 

To sum up, there are a lot more directions you can take a Slaanesh army in besides making every game your own personal softcore-pornhammer experience.

Also, if I see one more person suggest using one of Reaper's 55mm Sophie models for a Slaanesh daemon prince(ss), I'm going to crap in their pants.


  1. i think this all means that you need to start work on your hellraiser themed slaanesh army.

  2. The Flanderization of the Chaos gods is sad. Anybody read the Realms of Chaos shit? Fuck yeah, Chaos!

  3. I'd also like to see someone talk about their kewl Chaos SoB army that ISN'T Slaaneshi. I'd love to see some undivided, Khornate, Tzeentchian or Nurgle Sisters sometime.

  4. I couldn't agree more. I tried to avoid that with my Slaanesh-themed Eldar, and now I have to explain to folks that it's a Slaanesh-themed Eldar army.

    They aren't 'pretty.'

    BTW, Hellraiser would be an awesome subject to tackle. I wish I had the talent to do it.

  5. I worked with a dude at a GW store who though a cool idea for Slaanesh themed terrain would be a forest of... um, just use your imagination. Gross.

  6. Ah Slaanesh, perhaps the main reason people view this hobby as one for childish men children.


  7. Lauby - couldn't agree more about the Boobs of Slaanesh.

    sonsoftaurus - Nurgle Sisters. Nurgle... Sisters... You might just have given me a way to make an interesting Plague Marine army. I'll be in touch.